We believe you should always know the source of the information you're reading. Learn more about our editorial and medical review policies. One of the most straightforward ways to sleep train your baby is with the "cry it out" method CIO.
It's not for every family; as the name suggests, it involves tears baby's, and probably yours, too. If you're unsure about the idea of letting your baby cry, it can be reassuring to keep the ultimate goal in mind: helping your little one learn the essential skill of falling asleep on her own and soothing herself back to sleep when she wakes during the night. Cry it out, also known as the extinction method, is a sleep training technique that involves putting your baby in her crib fully awake and allowing her to fuss or cry until she falls asleep — without help from you.
That means you won't feed to sleep, rock to sleep or use any other crutch to get your baby to drift off. The goal is simply to teach baby to fall asleep on her own, outside of your arms.
While it might seem hard to believe, crying it out is most likely much harder on you than it is on your baby. You're going to have a rough couple of nights or even a week or more as you listen to your baby wail. Ultimately — if you can stand it — you're doing your baby a favor by helping her learn to fall asleep on her own. The goal of the CIO method is to let baby fuss and cry on her own until she eventually wears herself out and falls asleep on her own.
In the beginning, you may end up having to let baby cry it out for 45 minutes to an hour before she goes to sleep, though it varies from baby to baby. Most parents who try the cry it out method find their babies cry increasingly less over the first three nights and their crying virtually ends somewhere between the fourth and seventh nights. Eventually babies may simply fuss or screech in complaint for a couple of minutes — or simply quietly fall asleep.
When to let your baby cry it out depends on your baby and your comfort with the method. Babies are generally developmentally ready to be sleep trained at 4 to 6 months. By about 5 to 6 months, they can sleep through the night without needing to eat, making it a good time to try the CIO method. Keep in mind that your older baby may have already trained you to respond to her nocturnal tears with feedings, cuddling and even a visit to your bed.
By 6 months, babies are wise to the fact that crying often results in being picked up, rocked or fed — pretty good motivation to keep on doing it. If that's the case, sleep training will require some changes for both baby and you.
After about a week of nighttime sleep training, naptimes should get easier. And she will have discovered the self-soothing methods pacifier, thumb-sucking, etc. Ready to try sleep training with your child, but looking for a gentler option that involves slightly fewer tears than the CIO method? Also on the far end of the cry it out spectrum is the Baby Wise approach by pediatrician Robert Bucknam and co-author Gary Ezzo. In their book On Becoming Baby Wise , they advise against feeding babies on demand around the clock and instead advocate a parent-led feeding, wake, and sleep schedule.
Their method involves following a strict nap and sleep schedule and putting your baby down awake so she can learn to soothe herself to sleep. This means there will be some crying, especially at first, as your baby adjusts to your schedule. Both the Cohen and Baby Wise techniques are controversial and have drawn criticism from child care experts and many parents. Their approaches contradict advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics on feeding and sleep training.
First, wait until your baby is physically and emotionally ready to sleep through the night , usually between 4 and 6 months of age. Ferber doesn't designate a precise age at which to begin his technique, since it can vary so much depending on the child.
If you're not sure whether your baby's ready, you can always give it a try or discuss it with your child's doctor. If you encounter too much resistance, wait a few weeks and try again. Step 2 Say goodnight to your child and leave the room. If he cries when you leave, let him cry for a predetermined amount of time.
See "How long should I leave my child alone? Step 3 Go back into the room for no more than a minute or two to pat and reassure your baby. Leave the light off and keep your voice quiet and soothing. Don't pick him up. Leave again while he's still awake, even if he's crying.
Step 4 Stay out of the room for a little bit longer than the first time and follow the same routine, staying out of the room for gradually longer intervals, each time returning for only a minute or two to pat and reassure him, and leaving while he's still awake. Step 5 Follow this routine until your child falls asleep when you're out of the room. Step 6 If your child wakes up again later, follow the same routine, beginning with the minimum waiting time for that night and gradually increasing the intervals between visits until you reach the maximum for that night.
Step 7 Increase the amount of time between visits to the nursery each night. In most cases, according to Ferber, your baby will be going to sleep on his own by the third or fourth night — a week at the most. If your child is very resistant after several nights of trying, wait a few weeks and then try again.
How long should I leave my child alone? In his book, Ferber suggests these intervals:. Keep in mind that there's nothing magical about these waiting periods. You can choose any length of time you feel comfortable with.
For some moms and dads, these methods work just the way they're supposed to. After a few nights and a few tears, their child sleeps contentedly through the night. For other parents, when the tears continue and the promised sleep doesn't come, it's time to try something else. No approach to baby sleep works for everyone.
Just because your best friend or your sister had good luck with a cry it out method doesn't mean it's right for you. And even if it works with your first child, it may not do the trick with your second. The first one was never left to cry it out — we rocked, sung, walked, drove her to sleep until she was old enough to be read a story. Then, with baby number two, I decided to try CIO and after one night , it worked.
At 12 months, she goes to sleep at night by herself and never cries. It was the best thing I did. My husband was against it, but he wasn't the one up four or five times every night for nine months straight! Now our household is very happy and everybody sleeps well. I tried every other method available.
Finally, at 7 months, we let her cry it out. It took three to four weeks to complete the sleep training and even though it was the hardest thing I've had to do thus far, it was so worth it. She now sleeps about 10 hours a night and loves her crib. We're both happier and have more energy to play. I was so tired I wanted to die. DO make sure you are prepared to follow through. Cry it out requires a lot of resolve — you have to be ready to go down that road! DO find a support system to help you through.
DO make a plan ahead of time. A plan is critical to any kind of sleep training success, but it is especially key to cry it out success.
You should always use gentle methods to help your baby learn to sleep well during the newborn stage, and even at 4 months — 6 months , you will likely want to go for gentler approaches. Because doubt about whether or not your baby is crying out of hunger, or crying because he wants help falling asleep, will eat away at even the best of plans.
Stick to your sleep coaching plan for at least a week or two before you make changes — and be sure that while you are using cry it out sleep coaching, you are as consistent as possible in how you respond to your baby.
This just ends up being too much crying for your baby AND for you, and that can make it nearly impossible to follow through. Instead, plan for a realistic timeline before you start. An adaptable , easy-going baby will likely cry very little, if at all. With consistent babies, it may be easier to time up bedtime and nap times, giving you more confidence that your baby is ready for sleep at bedtime and at nap time.
High-energy babies may need longer wind-down times before sleep, and may also have more energy to cry longer, which will obviously make cry it out tough. We want to hear from you! We only recommend products that we believe are quality products and are good for our readers. Need Baby and Toddler Sleep Help? We Have the Resources You Need! If you are tired of wading through stacks of baby sleep books that just aren't working, if you are beyond exhausted and just can't solve your child's sleep problems on your own We encourage you to consider our personalized, one-on-one baby and toddler sleep consultation packages if you want to see real, meaningful results now.
Your consultation package also includes ample follow-up help, designed to help you troubleshoot problems and tweak your plan as needed. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.
As a VIP member, you'll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant. In over 10 years, we have over 10, comments on our blog. Comments My 9 month old sleeps well through the night.
Ben, thanks for the update! Sounds like you are making progress! I hope it continues.
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